Baby Darlin’ An Illustrated Memoir
Alycia Vreeland
Most of them are dead.
Silence is broken and the secret unearthed.
Surviving the Cajun Curse, her mentally ill momma calls her, Baby Darlin’. Pig calls her Brillo and takes away her innocence by using her to escape his own twisted mind. Her cousin Willy, calls her snaggle, but she doesn’t care, she thinks they will marry someday. Her Papa, a recovered alcoholic, her hero. Her Grandma the ever present, Shamer is a dark shadow to remind her of her worth. Her drug and love addiction takes her through a series of abusive love stories and finally she proudly escapes into the loving arms of her higher power.
This illustrated memoir brutally rips off the bandaid and exposes the stigma around child sexual abuse, with compassion and insight through the eyes of a brave little girl, Baby Darlin’.
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What readers are saying about Baby Darlin’!
★★★★★ “Raw and emotionally fraught. Vreeland tells her story with searing revelations, accompanied by colorful illustrations.” Leslie Zemeckis, bestselling author of Feuding Fan Dancers
★★★★★ “Bold and vibrant with disturbing imagery, this detailed survivor’s memoir is a tribute to the resilience of the human spirit. I wanted to swoop in and save BabyDarlin’ from the atrocities of her childhood. The whimsical art and poignant words that are scattered throughout the pages kept me tethered to the hope of a happy outcome, pulling me forward to the last pages. As a wounded healer who works in recovery treatment, I have witnessed the challenges that occur when trying to heal from childhood abuse. It is difficult work and not linear. It is sometimes a messy road filled with potholes and U-turns. Alycia has somehow created a colorful highway swathed in color, with her art as signposts, leading us out of the wreckage she writes about. I had to read this book in small chunks as tidal waves…and sometime tsunami’s… of horror, sadness, despair, anger, and disappointment threatened to engulf me. Readers, please know that there is a warm, wonderful artistic, creative, beautiful, sensitive, funny and compassionate human that has found peace and believes in healing sea magic at the end of this story.” Sandra Mistretta, Clinical Director for Casa Serena Treatment Programs for Women
★★★★★ “tell people I grew up in Santa Barbara and they say “Oh, how nice.”’ Not really. We’ve lost more kids to addiction than Vietnam AND WW2. Alycia tells her story in typical Santa Barbara flavor; not a trace of self pity, because SB kids know… no one cares. Instead, we mine our tragic ore-pits for gasps and laughs, to the horror of the untraumatized. But our stories aren’t FOR them. They are for the broken and beautiful survivors; broken Japanese teapots, glued back together with gold.” J.C. Scales, author of The Goat Lady’s Son
★★★★★ ”Couldn’t put it down once I started reading it. Alycia’s story is equally heart shattering and heart warming. It will break your heart open. She safely takes her readers on her exceptional and profoundly inspiring journey from wounding through healing and beyond.” Juliana Barros, Integration and Collective Trauma Therapist, State Certified Sexual Survivor Therapist
★★★★★ “Alycia Vreeland’s Baby Darlin’ invites us into an intimate world of abuse and addiction, confession and redemption, revealing what the narrator wants us to feel through her heartache, struggle, and survival. Alcohol addiction runs in the family from her paternal grandparents and father, who becomes sober when Alycia is ten, to her mother, who also wrestles with being bipolar and often turns to alcohol to self-medicate. Chaos and alcohol along with her mother’s erratic behavior become familiar to the child Alycia. But she finds an alter ego who becomes her caretaker during disorder: “I named her Ayne de Blu; she is a big girl and she is not scared of anything…. If I listen very carefully, she whispers never to give up, she tells me where to hide, she tells me it is not my fault, she tells me to run, she tells me to shut off my feelings so I can survive….” This journey through the highs and lows of Alycia’s life ends in hope and possibility as she releases the darkness of her past and “dissolves its power by telling my story over and over…. I am a grateful survivor.” Chella Courington, author of Adele and Tom: The Portrait of a Marriage and Ladies-in-Waiting
★★★★★ “Alycia’s soul rupture and innocence are shattered so clearly in her haunting retelling of her traumatic childhood. Sometimes it is difficult to bear, but that is not the message here. This is a story of victory and recovery from her fragmented pieces into the authentic and whole person that she is today. The greater message; Alycia has shown us the path to wholeness and recovery. I love you Alycia, thank you for sharing your soul with me.” Stacey Cameron, fellow traveler
★★★★★ Baby Darlin’ is a deeply moving and haunting illustrated memoir that explores the life of Alycia Vreeland, shaped by addiction, abuse, and generational trauma. From an early age, Vreeland is immersed in a world of dysfunction, where her mother’s mental illness and her family’s abusive patterns weigh heavily on her developing identity. Known by various names—Baby Darlin’, Brillo, Snaggle—she endures a childhood steeped in pain, shame, and lost innocence. Though she finds some solace in her father, her lone hero, even he cannot shield her from the darkness that surrounds her.
The memoir chronicles Vreeland’s turbulent journey as she struggles with addiction and abusive relationships while constantly searching for love and stability. Despite the chaos, she clings to a thread of hope, ultimately finding peace and redemption through a higher power. The narrative is brought to life with striking, often unsettling illustrations, revealing the brutal realities of child abuse and the deep, enduring scars it leaves behind. Yet, the story also delivers a powerful message of survival and healing. Vreeland’s writing is unflinchingly honest, capturing the visceral intensity of childhood abuse and the way it shapes her life. She doesn’t portray herself as a victim seeking sympathy; instead, she uses her story to illustrate how, despite enduring unimaginable horrors, healing and redemption are still within reach. What makes Baby Darlin’particularly compelling is its raw honesty paired with a sense of hope. The accompanying illustrations amplify the emotional depth of her words, creating a powerful, immersive experience for readers. It’s not an easy story to digest—there are moments of profound sorrow and discomfort—but this emotional weight is exactly what makes the memoir so captivating. Vreeland confronts her trauma head-on but refuses to let it define her.
By the book’s conclusion, readers experience a sense of release alongside Vreeland as she moves through her trauma and towards peace. Her resilience and ability to transcend such darkness make Baby Darlin’ an inspiring and unforgettable read.
Karen Almeida
Assistant Editor
Literary Titan
5.0 out of 5 stars
Raw and Righteous
Reviewed in the United States on October 15, 2024
Baby Darlin’ (BD) grows up in a house full of [a four-letter word, beginning with “s” and ending in “t” that Amazon profanity rules prohibit]. Literally and figuratively. BD wants to love, to be loved, but is betrayed time and again by those she trusts. Her mother is sick in the head. Papa is kind and funny, but he isn’t around. Grandpa is interesting. He is a painter and BD wants to be a painter too. But Grandpa is also crazy. Grandma is a devout Catholic who shames BD. Only BD’s older cousin, Willy, loves her. She will do whatever he tells her, especially drink. It tastes awful, so she washes it down with root beer. And alcohol makes BD feel great, even if it also makes her throw up. BD also has a secret friend, Ayne de Blu, who “disappears” BD’s body when Pig, who is even grosser than his name, assaults her. Ayne tells BD everything will be OK. But everything is not OK. BD’s drinking becomes uncontrollable. The worst: She loses her son. Things get better when BD meets Jon, the love of her life. He’s a drug addict trying to kick his habit; she’s an alcoholic trying to stay sober. BD suffers unbearable losses: her cousin, her son, her mother, and then Jon. How will she survive? Alone? But she is not alone. BD discovers a Higher Power. But, to this reviewer, the power also resides within BD herself, in the woman named Alycia Vreeland. Telling her saga, Vreeland outs the truth of an abused child in graphic language and painful pictures. As writer myself (see my Amazon author page http://www.amazon.com/author/asewovenwords), I admire Vreeland courage writing this unrelentingly honest memoir. BD, her alter-ego, does not mince words. She makes readers cringe. We should. She makes us cry. We should. BD provokes outrage. Bravo for her. Listen to her voice; see her in these bold images. Read Baby Darlin’ with a strong stomach and a big heart. Surrender to the power of this amazing book.
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Laughing in Her Sleep by Alycia and Jon Vreeland
“Jon passed and yet, here are his words, his heart still beating.” Jack Grisham, Author Director Musician
This collection of poetry is the love child of two creative minds.
Jon Vreeland, the author of The Taste of Cigarettes, was a self-proclaimed reincarnation of Hemingway and highly influenced by Bukowski’s crude humor and womanizing grit. He claimed writing poetry gave his brain a respite from his struggle with drug addiction.
Alycia Vreeland’s illustrations and photos are a visual representation of Jon’s words.
The manuscript of this book was discovered and resurrected by Alycia Vreeland, Jon Vreeland’s wife, after Jon’s unexpected death on September 15, 2020.
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What readers are saying about Laughing in her Sleep!
★★★★★ “Addiction is not a subtle foe. It waits, always hungry, caring nothing for what we love. We lost a good friend when Jon passed and yet, here are his words, his heart still beating. This the disease couldn’t take from us. Thank you Alycia for keeping him alive.” Jack Grisham, author director musician
★★★★★ “Vreeland’s book is now a permanent part of my fabric, a very good part, and I can only reflect upon the author’s reverence for Hemingway and Bukowski. Somewhere it was said that Jon Vreeland’s inspiration drew upon the work of those two masters, but upon careful reflection, I believe it’s the other way around.” Steven Kunes, TV Writer/Producer Over My Dead Body
★★★★★ “Jon Vreeland. Ernest Hemingway. Charles Bukowski. Three peas in a pod. Jon Vreeland is a master storyteller at the absolute top of his game. Laughing in Her Sleep is so good, I’m afraid to go to bed!” Steven Kunes, TV Writer/Producer Over My Dead Body
★★★★★ “The world of Jon and Alycia Vreeland is not a pretty one, but it is real, vivid and memorable… By the end of Laughing in Her Sleep, you’ll feel like you know the poet and the artist almost as well as you know yourself.” David Starkey, author of Poor Ghost
★★★★★ “Jon’s poetry is like walking in the shadow of death; bringing insight into our pain. Alycia‘s art is the perfect balance to digest it.” Stacey Cameron
★★★★★ “With a kind of blunt honesty, Vreeland’s poetic voice sounds much like his day-to-day voice—hard-edged, intense, raw, sometimes touching, and sometimes comic… Vreeland’s work never ceases to embody life’s complexities—the shock of truth and the bittersweetness of imagination.” Chella Courington, author of Hearts Forged in Resistance and Lost and Found.
Alycia Vreeland Author/Illustrator 