Excerpt from the Memoir Baby Darlin’ by Ayne Rhodes

My body is stiff and blocked with childhood memories stuck in time. Jon cracks my back as I lay on the carpet head turned to the left looking straight at Diaries of Virginia Wolff. I wondered if Virginia had trauma PTSD as they call it today. Her writing so complicated and deep.. “The Sketch of the Past” I am called to read. Two half brothers taking her innocence. She tied herself to a cinder block drowned herself in a lake Jon tells me. Sad. The depression untreated the memories blocked unable to serve her.

Researching Haight and Ashbury for memories of trauma. I can feel it Jon has unleashed  a balled up energy waiting waiting to be unleashed. Child’s pose, eyes in the darkness of tortured mind. What is in there waiting to come out! I don’t really want to know but I do. It is the answer to my happiness, my wholeness, my love of everything that is me! It means freedom from the bondage of my past. My therapist conveys. Go deep don’t be scared, they are only memories, they can’t get you now let go and retrieve them. Breathe deep breath there it is! IMG_3670

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